Bad Day Conflict

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Magpie
Member
Posts: 138
Joined: Fri Oct 19, 2018 9:51 pm

Bad Day Conflict

Post by Magpie »

Hello all, so, I opened up to my mum today about my anxiety. The last time I opened up to her, it didn’t go great as she said some hurtful things, but I thought I’d give it another go.

She started by asking why i distance myself and why I have anxiety? I said it is hard to explain, but I said all
I can say is that I’m seeking counselling for things that have happened to me in the past and that I’m not pushing away to piss anyone off, it’s just my way of dealing with things.

She got a bit defensive and nasty again, said I didn’t love her, that I thought she was a terrible mother. When I brought up again that the triggers for all these emotions started after her bullying behaviour, she said how dare I, I should respect her as she’s my mother.

Feels like I’m back to square one, I tried, don’t think she’ll ever understand. It hurts, I feel a bit numb too. Can only remember parts of the conversation at different times.

Guess this is part of the journey x
Last edited by Harmony on Tue Jun 04, 2019 7:11 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: edited trigger indicator from MT to NT due to no triggering language nor content
EasyStreet
Member
Posts: 972
Joined: Fri Mar 22, 2019 7:36 pm

Re: Bad Day Conflict

Post by EasyStreet »

Hi Magpie,

I don't think i've answered on of your posts before so let me say good to know you!

I'm sorry to hear about your conversation with your mother. I have somewhat similar conversations with my wife, and I have experienced what you are describing. It doesn't feel good.

But, I'm gonna say I don't think you are back to square one. Maybe 1.5 but not 1. Why? Your expression of your self and of your needs is not an empty act because the result was bad. You exercised a mental muscle of selfhood and independence. I am learning to use that muscle every day, and it is getting stronger.

I'm finding that I am starting (baby steps now) to be able to hold my center/self in the middle of a storm of negative emotion being blasted at me. Not frozen in fear like so many times before, but calmly letting the negativity flow over me like a breeze during meditation. I think this is attainable for many of us. It's a challenging goal for me anyway, and it has benefits in making the world work for you.

I admire your courage and tenacity. They are both important tools in your kit.

Your name Magpie is really excellent. I only see crows and ravens in my country, but I think they are of a kind, and I actually have an affinity for crows. I think they are survivors, too.

Be well.
EasyStreet
Thanks for being

(On this forum, in my tribe, chatting or not, prosper and thrive!)
Magpie
Member
Posts: 138
Joined: Fri Oct 19, 2018 9:51 pm

Re: Bad Day Conflict

Post by Magpie »

Thank you for your reply, and I do indeed relate to what you have said-I too feel a bit stronger than the last time, like my muscles are stronger and more resilient and more able to speak my truth, and that is a good thing.

I chose the name Magpie, as I believe it is my spirit animal totem, I see them as a sign for things and they are just intriguing creatures. I feel at one with them x
quixote
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 1775
Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2012 2:14 am

Re: Bad Day Conflict

Post by quixote »

Magpie,
That took a lot of courage. But some people, like your mother, are not ready for honesty. That's her problem, not yours.
quixote
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