Becks~
(warning: sarcasm)
It's fairly obvious what you did wrong to bring on your partner's wrath! You failed to let him walk all over your boundaries! You were supposed to say "you need to have a full time job before you move in" and then let him chip away at that boundary until it turned into, "well, okay, move on in, but still try to find one after you're here, okay? because my boundaries don't matter at all anyway." (end sarcasm)
Good grief! I am sorry for the sarcasm, but why is it that when we set up a boundary, people always assume that we will just cave?!?
And it is very triggering to me when there is a conflict and then the other person acts as if nothing has happened without properly resolving it. OMG, I hate that! My mother would create the mother of all dramas and then call me the next day, asking about the weather! Now, even with my kids, I am sure that everything is resolved, and everyone has said all they need to say and worked things out before we move on.
As far as "why do we spend our lives seeking approval from people who will never give it?" ... I don't know. I think you're right that it's the younger us not wanting to stop. I think I have gotten away from that to a degree, but I have also completely disconnected myself from my foo and don't plan at this point to reconnect. If I were still in contact, I'm sure little learning would be bouncing all over the place trying to please them, and adult me would be hissing at her, "quit bouncing and be still! The approval ain't gonna happen!"
It sounds like your partner has some soul searching to do. If he's going to be in your life, he will need to be an adult. You have enough on your plate without caring for a huge, overgrown child who pushes your boundaries.
Even if you only go to a library or park, getting away with the kids sounds like a good idea.
Hang in there, Becks!
Here to stand by you.
low again
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Re: low again
~ learning
The most useful piece of learning for the uses of life is to unlearn what is untrue. ~Antisthenes
There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm. ~Willa Cather
(learning to thrive since March 2007, 2248 previous posts)
The most useful piece of learning for the uses of life is to unlearn what is untrue. ~Antisthenes
There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm. ~Willa Cather
(learning to thrive since March 2007, 2248 previous posts)