Triggering Event

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Triggering Event

Post by shiningsun » Tue Oct 23, 2018 8:31 pm

On Saturday night, I had an encounter that was really upsetting and triggering to me. My friend and I were taking an uber to a movie theater. The uber driver was a young man, he looked maybe 24, 25, so just a little older than my friend and me. He asks me if I want to hold the "Uber Shark". This is a stuffed shark that he says he made with his friends at Build-a-Bear. That was the first red flag to me, I found it odd that this 24/25 year old went with his friends to a kids place. Then he started saying how he gets "his" students to take pictures and put them on snapchat. Except he calls them "his children". He said "he calls the students children" and "he gets his children to take pictures with the shark and upload them". Then after a few moments of silence he turns and asks me if I want to add the shark on snapchat and post with it. The thing that really upsets me is that I almost did it because I am so terrified of saying no to men. We were trapped in his car, we didn't know him. What triggered me the most him calling student "his children". It was like he was creating this power dynamic, I was his child. He sounded like a fucking pedophile. I refuse to be put back into that place, I will not be made to feel like that again. I would rather die than go back to that. This entire encounter was also solely directed towards me. And earlier that night at dinner, I had been severely hit on by our male waiter- another situation that I also felt I could not escape and made me feel anxious. Sometimes it feels like men can tell whats happened to me or something. They know who to target. I have spent all of yesterday and today in bed. I was wondering why my depression was especially bad right now and this is probably why.
I really appreciate this forum. It is my only outlet right now for this kind of stuff.

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Re: Triggering Event

Post by Harbor » Tue Oct 23, 2018 8:55 pm

Hi shiningsun

I'm sorry you had that experience - that's a lot for one night. It sounds like ultimately you managed these challenging interactions, though it took a lot of energy.

I don't think men, or people in general, can tell what's happened - particularly when the contact is minimal. However, I do think that there are people out there who may deliberately encroach on boundaries, looking for opportunities to bypass them. It sounds like you stood strong, which is perfect.
"'Safe Harbor' is a state of mind... it's the place - in reality or metaphor - to which one goes in times of trouble or worry. It can be a friendship, marriage, church, garden, beach, poem, prayer, or song." -Luanne Rice

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Re: Triggering Event

Post by quixote » Sun Nov 04, 2018 6:59 pm

Most of my uber trips have been okay, but I have been lucky. Chalk this this up to a bad uber trip. You were right to go with a friend.

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