An area for new members to introduce themselves, as well as a place where all members can share concerns, questions or general posts.
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Posts: 250
Joined: Fri Sep 23, 2011 5:22 pm


Post by jimscarlet » Tue Oct 16, 2018 9:27 pm

Hi Peeps,
Boy am I glad I keep a journal,as was feeling down and picked up old one;as was leafing
through pages,came upon following quote:" One of the ways children respond to abuse,is to
become an offender to YOURSELF; treating yourself the same way your parents or others treated YOU.
This is called "TRANSFERENCE",which children do a lot of--so be on lookout for other transferences,
they WILL be there. Look at things you don't like about dear self,ways you put self down,or other
behaviour you don't like . . .including negative thinking . . .anything that is negative for you.
And if you don't already do it,start a journal!
Deepest Respect,
Last edited by Jonesy on Wed Oct 17, 2018 9:38 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Changed MT to NT, as no triggering content included

Posts: 209
Joined: Fri Aug 31, 2018 6:52 am

Re: Transference

Post by Harbor » Wed Oct 17, 2018 1:15 am

Thank you, jimscarlet

One of the reasons I have veered into helping others is that this is exactly what my father would not have done. I have recalled how he made me feel and have carefully parented to avoid making my children feel the same way. I sometimes feel the anger he felt, but then I use the disappointment I felt to quench it. We don't have to repeat the mistakes that the people who were supposed to be caring for us made - we can learn from them and let that knowledge propel us to a higher standard.

Even still, I catch myself sounding like him. All I can do is stop, apologize, make it right, and strive to do better.
"'Safe Harbor' is a state of mind... it's the place - in reality or metaphor - to which one goes in times of trouble or worry. It can be a friendship, marriage, church, garden, beach, poem, prayer, or song." -Luanne Rice

Posts: 74
Joined: Sat Apr 13, 2019 3:40 pm

Re: Transference

Post by ephes » Sat Apr 20, 2019 4:15 pm

Thank you for writing about this concept. Intuitively I have known/suspected for a while now that I've been doing that to myself, but wasn't familiar with the concept.
I found an article on the subject which is especially relevant for me because of rampant dissociation. It may not be so interesting for you but here it is anyway just in case:

Davies JM and Frawley MG 1991. Dissociative Processes and Transference-Countertransference Paradigms in the Psychoanalytically Oriented Treatment of Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse. Psychoanalytic Dialogues 2(1), 5-36

There's a PDF of it on

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