Hello and thanks for letting me join you

[Amelia]

Hello everyone

I’ve just joined the Forum and I’m glad to be here.

My story is not unusual I think. I’ve felt all of my adult life that things were very wrong with me, that I didn’t fit anywhere, that I was deeply flawed, sub-human and didn’t belong to the world. I have hidden this, and built a good life, despite frequent depression, occasional suicide attempts and living in deep loneliness. I’ve been diagnosed as depressed, bi-polar, etc. and most mental health treatments have offered support with living with this, but nothing that seemed to change anything.

Over the last three years both my parents have died, and things starting going pretty haywire for me. Eventually I was diagnosed with CPTSD and a dissociative disorder. I have very few memories before the age of 12, and few clues about what happened to me. But with the help of a therapist and a good friend, I have accepted that the evidence of what happened is written in my psyche and my body.

So now I am here, hoping that things get better. Having good days and days when I wish I wasn’t here, but holding on in the hope of something better, and some real connections with people it might be Ok to say I am not OK with. And really happy to hear that back from others too.

Thanks for letting me join you.

Amelia x

[Oceantide]

Amelia, Welcome! We're glad you're here. I do hope you'll feel comfortable saying when you're not doing OK, and find some real connections here. I've found this to be a safe place to begin to explore feelings, experiences and healing related to CPTSD and dissociative disorders.

[Crow]

Hi Amelia,

Welcome to isurvive.
You will find lots of validation and support here.

Crow

[Tryingtostayafloat]

Hi Amelia,

Im so sorry for all you have been through but I'm glad your here now.
I could have written that myself, it really hit me I do feel for you deeply.

There is so much support here

Tryingtostayafloat

[Jonesy]

Hi Amelia

A very warm welcome from me too

[quixote]

Amelia,
I hope you find what you need, here. We just try to help one another.

[Amelia]

Hi Amelia,

Welcome to isurvive.

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply. It’s kind!

[Amelia]

Im so sorry for all you have been through but I'm glad your here now.
I could have written that myself, it really hit me I do feel for you deeply.

Thanks for saying that. It’s strange isn’t it, that hearing someone else say they’ve had a similar experience, even if it’s such a bad one, makes life a little easier. Hope you’re having an Ok day.

[Tryingtostayafloat]

It really is a magical feeling, you will certainly feel lots of that here.
Thank you I'm doing the best I can.

Hope your day is feeling a bit lighter

[Serenity]

Hi and welcome, Amelia. I'm sorry for the reasons, but glad you are here.

With care,
Serenity