What About Me?

An area for new members to introduce themselves, as well as a place where all members can share concerns, questions or general posts.
Everyone is welcome here.

Moderators: quixote, Harmony, Jonesy

there
Member
Posts: 8965
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

Re: What About Me?

Post by there » Wed Sep 02, 2020 11:59 pm

Magpie,
I believe anger at those who harmed you is your own healing. After you kept it all inside, being nice to others while you were hurting, coming last if you mattered at all, you don't have to continue that.

I'm still feeling angry at my parents and they've been gone several years. I think it's part of how I find a way to do myself justice...

If family members are saying you're the cause of so much pain for speaking the truth, that's the projection of scapegoats.

I'm happy that you're speaking out.
All women are beautiful. Period.
I deserve better than survival.

Magpie
Member
Posts: 111
Joined: Fri Oct 19, 2018 9:51 pm

Re: What About Me?

Post by Magpie » Thu Sep 03, 2020 9:45 am

Thank you for sharing coconuts, I’m sorry to hear you have been shamed by your family for speaking the truth. You are not acting cowardly by not confronting them, you are brave to even be living with it, so brave to even bring it into the light in your own way. As long as you know the truth, that’s all that matters. It hurts deep when we not only get shamed by family but also not even get an apology for bullying or abuse. I have kind of given up on expecting that apology, or even an explanation for the hurt. No one with empathy towards another human being could ever say something hurtful to someone they say they love and not apologise for that hurt. It’s there loss, there responsibility, there choice. We have no control over that. As much as I’ve tried to make family see the truth, they just don’t want to see the dysfunction because it means a complete breakdown of who they are as people and as a family.

Heavenly dove I resonated with what you said when you Wrote about not feeling like you could say anything until it started affecting your life. That’s what happened to me-when I realised what happened, I got angry, I got sad, I almost had a breakdown but that was my healing. Awful time but coming through the other side now. I still have those bad days. Sometimes the hurt and anger we feel means we matter and we have rights.

There certainly is no right or wrong way to go through any of this. I guess It’s how an individual wants there relationship to be with there family, I have pushed mine away. Although have started talking to my sister again. But then I get a few days after seeing her, the guilt trips of how my parents are sad they can’t see me, how she worries about how it’s affecting there health, how she doesn’t want to be in the middle of it all and how she thinks maybe my mum is jealous of her seeing me. Yet what’s confusing to me is that I get no reply I get ghosted when I text to ask if they are doing ok???

It’s so fucked up I can’t tell you. But I guess the more healing I focus on in myself and my family, helps. It also helps to have an outlet on here and others who understand.

Love and light to you both x

mattakadaredevil
Member
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Sep 02, 2020 2:34 pm

Re: What About Me?

Post by mattakadaredevil » Thu Sep 03, 2020 7:34 pm

This resonated so deeply with me. I want to get to point where I count, matter, have peace. Something to hope for and work towards. - mattakadaredevil

"I guess if I had mattered, none of this would have happened in the first place.

I count, I deserve peace, I deserve love, I matter too.
[/quote]
Last edited by Serenity on Fri Sep 04, 2020 11:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Changed MT to NT as no triggering detail included

Magpie
Member
Posts: 111
Joined: Fri Oct 19, 2018 9:51 pm

Re: What About Me?

Post by Magpie » Fri Sep 04, 2020 6:41 am

We all deserve peace and we all matter, I guess we just have to remind ourselves of that each day x

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