Hurt

[Nelll]

Hi everyone.
Sorry I've not really been here recently, my world has been turned upside down recently.
I'm actually not ready to talk about it, it makes it feel very real.

But I will share the jist
The people.i trust have gone behind my back and broken my heart. My best friend has been having some form of relationship (nothing really serious, but serious enough) with my partner. We all live together. I am broken.
Trying to put myself back together.
I'm not sure if this is the place for this. I am hurt. I feel like it is childish and I can't believe this whole drama has even happened.

I haven't been able to talk to anyone. As everyone I would talk to, is involved.

Thanks for reading.
Nelll

[Harmony]

Hi Nelll,

You are heard and listened to today. Trust when broken is so difficult to repair. Stay true to yourself. Keep building that trust inside yourself. You are believed.

Harmony

[Crow]

Hi Nelll,

I was gutted for you when I read this earlier.
Don't have many words for you sadly, but please know that I am thinking of you.

Crow

[Nelll]

Thank you Harmony, I really appreciate it.

Also thank you Crow, your support as always is enough. Not many words needed.

I'm doing alot of self work, I've been really thinking about dealing with this in a non harmful (to myself) way. I keep telling myself that I don't deserve this and it isn't my fault. It's an uphill battle but I'm bored and fed up of downhill.

On this same night, after I was told about what had happened, I asked her why she hadn't told me before. And she explained how she liked the attention. I went and sat in the garden by myself for a few hours just reflecting and figuring out how to react. I went back upstairs to see everyone and they were all discussing when my virginity was taken from me. How the school bullied me. Then to relate to whatever was being said, my best friend explained something I had never told anyone.(apart from him) About a taxi man kidnapping me and raping me. This conversation was just happening as if it was a TV show.
I felt completely inhuman. I am proud of myself though, this would have driven me off the edge a couple of years ago.

I'm confused and wondering who I can trust. Mourning my relationships and past security within those relationships. I feel very alone.

Thanks for reading.
Nelll

[Crow]

Hi Nelll,

That is so unfair on you. For your friend to talk about something so personal and private like that... that's just wrong. (But hey, you know that I know.)

I hope you've managed to have an okay day today.

Crow

[quixote]

Nelll,
The people around you did hurt you. You did not deserve that. Certainly you can talk about it here. So many of us here have had people in our lives who have betrayed out trust.

[Crow]

Hello Nelll,

Just stopping by to say thank you for all of your support. I know life is tough for you right now, but you will make it through. You're stronger than you probably give yourself credit for.
Thank you for being a friend.

Crow

[Nelll]

Hi Crow,
Thank you for writing this. I hadn't realised you had. Just so you know, you are missed.
Thank you for caring and supporting me.
I really do hope your well and okay.
Nelll