Saying hello

[Razzberry]

I’ve been delaying posting here and just coming in to introduce myself and say hello. I recently found out that my mum and my aunt (her older sister) were SA by my grandfather. This happened 70 years ago but for me it’s like it only happened yesterday... I’m struggling with this information and it’s opened a lot of thoughts and memories of my childhood. It’s not really about me though so I kind of feel bad for posting here as I see you all have direct experience of this and I don’t want to be dramatic about something that hasn’t actually happened to me.. But having said that I don’t feel like I can talk to anyone IRL about this as I feel so ashamed to have this in my genes. Anyway, it’s too much, I don’t know where to start, so just saying hello.

[solana]

hi Razzberry!

finding out that these things happened to loved ones is traumatic too. please know that this type of behavior is not hereditary, and you have no need to be ashamed for someone else's actions.

you are more than welcome here.

[Razzberry]

Thank you. Logically I do know that. It’s just shattered what I thought my family was.. It’s given me some clues about why my mum is the way she is, she certainly has some unusual and sometimes inappropriate behaviours. I can’t remember much of my childhood, I don’t think we were abused as such but certainly hit and shouted at and now I’m wondering what I’ve forgotten about the way my parents were. Anyway that’s a digression at this point. Thank you for listening.

[solana]

i hear you. there are so many things i know logically that i fail to really feel in my heart. it is crazy how different knowing and feeling are.

i can relate to losing what you thought your family was. i learned this about my family long ago, but i still remember the heart-shattering pain.

i'm sorry to hear you were hit and shouted at. no one deserves that. it must be really frustrating to not remember everything.

here with you, listening.

[Jonesy]

Hi Razzberry

Welcome to isurvive