Ex-boyfriend and wanting to keep contact

[mermaid]

Has been awhile. Back story have been dating a guy I knew years ago. He came back into my life as a fluke. I have made some poor choices with staying with him. He has been very manipulative, making everything seem like my fault and I have to deal with my ****, when in reality everything was always about him and how it affected him. T and I have had a lot of long discussions regarding him. I finally was able to break up with him, however I still feel stuck in his stuff. I was recently in the hospital for a severe exacerbation with my asthma and reached out to him in a moment of weakness (he's a paramedic) Well now he keeps texting me, he came up and saw me while I was in the hospital and started talking about He now realizes I have to deal with my stuff for us to be able to go anywhere. That he's talked through it with his T and understands now.And then started talking about how he wants to go to Memphis this summer and it would be nice if I come with, starts talking about things I would like (the zoo).. He doesn't realize or want to realize that there isn't any going forward. There is so much hurt and betrayal. I tried but I just can't get past it. BTW some of the things that have happened is he lied to me about being divorced. Took him 2 years to apply and finalize the divorce, and kept saying he had his reasons. His car got repossessed and I helped with that and he's made no attempt to repay anything. He's like a man child that pouts, manipulates and controls until he gets his way. I feel trapped and weak. I'm really trying. I'm finally home from hospital and just trying to avoid anything to do with him. Just don't what how I'm going to handle/deal with all of this.
mermaid

[IMA]

I like how considerate you are to think this out... if it was the past me I would of just ran or ignore the guy.

[wolfspirit]

mermaid,
Sorry you're feeling stuck and unhappy. I think it's okay to bring it back up with your t and have her/him help you decide how to make that boundary strong again. He sounds unhealthy and you don't have to deal with that.
Hoping you stay feeling better (asthma attacks are frightening and horrible to deal with) and that you can find some peace with this struggle.

ws

[mermaid]

IMA that is definitely my go to is run..fast and far. I can't quite explain/figure out why I have let him get his hooks into me so hard. Thanks for the support.

[mermaid]

wolfspirit, you are right about resetting boundaries. I keep hoping if I ignore him long enough he'll get the picture. I hate confrontation. I see T again on Friday, hopefully now that I'm coming off the steroids I'll be able to focus a little more.

[IMA]

Wishing you the best mermaid,

Last night one my good friends helped me create some boundaries for myself when i am ready find a new partner. I'm glad your changing for what is best for you in this moment.

Some of mine that were set:
1. Has a car
2. Graduated college
3. Can hold a long term job
4. No smoking/ drinking exclusively/ drugs

Some for myself:
1. Complete my first degree
2. Fix my credit
3. Buy a car
4. Stick with therapy