Sadness

[freedomspot]

IMA,

you don't need to be strong all the time. We are all humans and this means that it is ok to let yourself feel sad or angry or vulnerable sometimes.
I don't actually think that there may be a human being on this earth who might be strong all the time in their life.
I can also relate to what you are writing about people who would prefer to hide you than help you. Well, no matter how hard this may sound, those people do not love you my friend.

I came to this conclusion recently.
A human being that loves you, will help you stand up on your feet. If they make you feel ashamed or sad, then they do not love you.
Search and I am sure you will find good, caring and love-giving people in your life.
You certainly deserve them in your daily life.

Sitting near you, eating a piece of apple-pie and keeping company to you, as I am also trying to cover my wounds till my T is back.

With much care, my friend,
freedomspot

[IMA]

Thank you freedom spot

That helped bring out of depression, I am looking forward to taking a few dance classes once I get out my pay check.

Yes I understand these people don't love me now, it's nice to let my guard down when no one is around

Thank you for keeping me company I really like sweets, eating sugar cookies besides you. :3

[IMA]

I want to dwell on what makes me vulnerable... when I get weak.
Thank you freedomspot for opening up my eyes on not being strong all the time....

I feel sad knowing that I can't turn to older relatives for support because they never got the chance to know me growing up.

Felt crappy that I'm not as young looking as I was two years ago... I guess all the stress and medication finally got to me.

Sad that still daydream about what I want to look forward to in a relationship, but then the time comes my fantasies are crushed. Like the thought of when I'm sad, someone embracing me by the rubbing the tears from my eyes. That haven't happened and I only get the response of suck it up or quit being spoiled.

Anger that I was brought up by a let down of a father

I feel hateful that people have use things that I said in past instead of asking me now.

Hate how most people won't take the time get to know me... it's in most cases through another person. Or I have been hacked and violated that way.

I am frustrated with racism and classism.

I'm still even hiding parts about myself that I don't want others to know.

[wolfspirit]

Sitting with you as you express what is bothering you.
I do that- focus on what makes me vulnerable. Its almost a way to protect myself, or just a rut I've fallen into.
Maybe there are things that made you feel vulnerable in the past that are still trying to hang on to your happiness, now. Maybe they can be shed or realigned in your mind.

sending comforting thoughts,

ws

[IMA]

I felt really depressed when average for me today.
All throughout the day I just thought about ways to end it, then would try it daydream about my success in the future.

This power suggested lasted for 15 rounds in my head.

I'm coming to grips that i humiliated myself bad with my biggest manic state in March.

I feel ashamed that I was that out of control

I felt like I was completely and utterly insane, I thought people could read my thoughts, that world was continuing to mock me for my moments of pure misery.

The sad part though even in that state I still saw people intentionally treating me bad.

I don't trust people now...

I make a plan to leave and never get too close.

But weird enough I still want kids, just not in the traditional way of having one...

My body is to stiff and in pain, my emotions turn rampant of the thought of letting someone close in again, my soul I can't even formulate a remark to describe it....

But I still want to wake up the next days and looking at my purple lights in the dark make me feel less ashamed of what it's so hard to let go in the past with body, mind, and soul

[IMA]

Just sad that

People still talk for me...

I feel die inside... 23 years of life for what.
I don't want to die but I don't want to feel this self hate and disgust that I'm not living my life the way I want it.

[freedomspot]

Hi IMA,

I am here, listening and caring.
Not much words to say, just that I am here, holding your hand if safe and sending you support.

With care,
freedosmpot.

[wolfspirit]

Joining fs in offering an ear to listen and a hand to hold~~~

[there]

IMA,
To me you're beautiful, intelligent, creative, strong.

It's not too much to ask to be liked for yourself as you are. I I need to remind myself that I'm myself, not the opinion of anyone else.

I hope you keep letting things out here.

Gentle hug, if okay, IMA.

[IMA]

Thank you fs, ws, and there for your support... your supportive embraces I will remember them and I am grateful for that.