No idea what to make of today.

A discussion area specifically for survivors who suffered physical, emotional, and verbal child abuse. This forum can also be used for Members who suffered sexual abuse at the time of physical, emotional and verbal abuse.

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Shirley
Member
Posts: 682
Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2018 6:52 pm

Re: No idea what to make of today.

Post by Shirley »

Hi Jimscarlet,

Nice to meet you!

Yes I agree with you definitely.

Peace.

Shirley
There is always a silver lining.
Shirley
Member
Posts: 682
Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2018 6:52 pm

Re: No idea what to make of today.

Post by Shirley »

Every now and then I think to myself. Who am I, who would I have been if I was never exposed to so much abuse so young. It always gets to me the age it started. I don’t know why. I always thought it was 3 but when I described the House to my dad he says I would have been 2/2 1/2 there. People have said to me upon finding out.. “ oh that explains a lot “. Those words stick with me. Was I that messed up growing up that people thought there was something messed up about me. I always feel that I’m making something small into this big thing. I guess because I know what he did to me was wrong but at the same time I can’t forgive myself for things I did. Things I’ve never said to anyone or admitted myself. This investigation is going to take it out of me I know that. I’m feel jealous of people here talking so much of their inner child etc I have I have no idea of anything to do with my inner child or what to do about it or say or anything. Maybe I’m avoiding it because I’m shamed I don’t know. Maybe that’s my inner child doing that I don’t know that either. I just wish this was over. I’m too tired to go on like this.
Thank you to everybody here for your support. I’ve never felt kindness or support like this before and honestly don’t know what to do with it either. Not so good at Relatioships or friendships it seems. I wish I understood what is happening to me the last few weeks. I’m finding it harder to come back in here and I don’t know why.
I just want it to be over.
There is always a silver lining.
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