Fleur's 2018 thoughts

[quixote]

Fleur,
Good to see you posting here.
quixote

[Noname]

Fleur,

Also glad to hear you have a caseworker to help you out. I really hope that having her is a positive thing for you. It sounds like there are tons of triggers for you. I'm sorry you are having to deal with it all. Sending hugs to any/all who want them.

[dancingfish]

Thinking of you Fleur, and sending you moments of kindness and calmness. Glad you have some help with things! All the best to you. :)

[Fleur]

Hello dancing fish NN Quixote Wolfspirit and any others reading


I am disappointed that I arrived at venue but couldn't find seminar. I had a male with me and we enjoyed sunshiny walk however that was not the point of travelling so far

Took half a tablet last night. Awoke well after noon again. Very dopey. Didn't attempt to find singing group which begins at five to seven pm

Next see Pdoc tomorrow. Then Thursday first appt with psychology T who claims knowledge In schema. She reckons we can beat this ptsd etc although she said no timeframe

Tired of seeking friends online. Already two are scammers. And I have neg feelings about others. Really disappointing the females didn't return my messages

Not in a pleasant space


Cheers

[there]

Fleur,
That sounds hopeful about the T appt. Coming up.

Finding possible friends is not easy for me, either. Hope that somebody who'll be a good friend or even pleasant acquaintance comes through for you soon.

thinking of you...

[Noname]

Oh Fleur, I'm sorry to hear that you are in such an unpleasant place right now. I really hope the T can help you. So sorry to hear that you've had so much trouble finding friends. I understand those difficulties all too well. I really hope you can find some sort of a connection soon. You're a good person and have been such a good friend to so many people here. You are worthy of friendship and care.

Sending hugs if ok.

[wolfspirit]

Fleur,
Thanks for sharing an update. Hoping the appointments go well this week.
I agree that it is frustrating trying to connect with others. Hoping that something changes in that area, soon.
How is Soxy doing with her scratching?
Stay warm
Sending gentle hugs- so good to hear from you.

ws

[Fleur]

Thank you there NN wolfspirit … and those who read without leaving words


I'm in tears as I say this - YOU are my friends. End of story. Please don't misunderstand. I'm happy for online friendship. But it is not the same as face to face. We can imagine things like walking along seashore or chatting in a cafe or whatever and I DO appreciate reading posts even when I don't respond

I saw brand new T who is 60 and worked with schema 14 years. She really gets me. She asked gentle questions. Made probing comments. Got why I haven't unpacked. Why I have insiders. What goes on inside my head. I have a couple of documents to complete. One is the full scale Jeffrey Young survey. The other is 16 pages of prompts as a "this is my life story". T said she wants the first back asap. The other can wait. Maybe do a question that appeals one day then a couple of days later tackle a bit more. Only empathy and clarification. Agrees with me that I don't want to be like this so she shall help. She mentioned a year maybe two but not indefinite therapy

AND she bulk billed me for a long appt so that solved my cash difficulties. It was totally unexpected! Very grateful

Phone is a pest. Wouldn't show me all contacts as I was completing T's registration form. I've noticed lack of signal several times. Switching it off then on again once or twice rectifies the problem

T has a kitchen where hot and cool drinks as well as cheese and crackers plus sweet biscuits are kept for people who are in need. Off the kitchen looks like a laundry and farther through is a bathroom. I didn't check today but might next time in August. T has booked a few weeks in September to October for an Asian adventure. How refreshing to know so far in advance. There will be a locum service available for support … I doubt I'll need to use such as I have GP and Pdoc fortnightly but T covered many eventualities … including how she has arranged professional affairs in case of incapacity

My insiders are very mixed in regard to the T. Littlest ones think she's wonderful. Like a grandma (which she is). Others like how she knows that they need a change of job description rather than being shifted out or replaced. Typically there's one who's really upset but I'm convinced that aspect of self would never be happy regardless of who or what professional we saw.

Such a relief to have T tell me why I'm reluctant to unpack tidy up etc - speaking from my older adult perspective

On the bus back it was pleasant to chat with a 15yo young lady. A nice interlude. I did a catch up shop for a lot more than I had planned but credit card wasn't needed for T so I could afford to shop on credit. This I prefer to not do but sometimes having that buffer is helpful. I made a note to repay next week. I'm in front with gas and electric power but my water bill arrived ; I owe five dollars due to previous in credit account. Ahhh I just realised why my savings dropped. Phone bill. That means I don't need to contact bank tomorrow

If anyone wants a different taste from Subway … try their falafel with salad On a toasted wrap. I chose sweet chilli sauce emphasising a small amount. A bit hard to eat decorously but delicious. Fortunately I can tolerate their non GF wraps but although I like their rolls they make stomach issues. They've introduced salad bowls as a permanent menu item thus eliminating bread

Am still hypervigilant and easily spooked. So tired. Head throbs despite meds food non alcoholic drinks. Body hurts … old stuff new sh and who knows what else

Someone asked about Soxy. He continues to be naughty but I'm watchful so there is less biting and scratching. He needs vaccines next month. I'll ask Vet about the breathing plus changed behaviour. Soxy is much more smoochy . As soon as I am quiet he sits near me if not on me

May you all enjoy the weekend. My son turns 22 on Saturday


Cheers

[Couragetoday]

Hi Fleur,

Here reading along despite mostly feeling unable to reply.
Real, real happy for all of you, that new T, although not perfect, sounds good in many respects.

Hope you can be in touch with son for birthday.

Pats to Soxy from me pls, and hugs to you.

Couragetoday

[wolfspirit]

Fleur,
It's wonderful how these people will pop into our lives offering something different and helpful. Your T sounds like she will provide what you need for now. Being understood is so important.

Sorry the physical ailments are still a problem. Hope they are more manageable than before, or that they will be soon.
I've had some problems recently and its not easy to get through the day.
I hate when my phone acts up, too! So frustrating.

Glad to hear that Soxy is showing you a little more affection and that you're on top of the scratching and biting.

Its good to have you as a friend. Thanks for the update.

<3

ws