There's Healing Journey 2018

[there]

Couragetoday and spirit,
Beyond grateful to see your posts. Thank you both for your empathy and validation.
CT, I know you deal with painful loneliness, too. (((gentle hugs))), if OK. If it were possible, I'd come to your place and hang out.

ws, nothing wrong with calling her on it right away. My brother said I should get my $ back. It might be nice if I brought it up in front of whole class.

Some depression comes directly from oppression.
Gonna write a little of the script. It can be handwritten. I have nice handwriting, lol.
Again, thank you both.

[wolfspirit]

Hope today is good and goes well for you.
Teach me how to make the little wolf face! And a heart.

Glad you're doing better.

<3

ws

[wolfspirit]

there,
thinking of you and hoping the training finished well <3

ws

[there]

Wolf spirit,
The wolf face comes up in my Android phone when I typed the word quotation mark wolf. Not sure about the heart.

Sitting in a pew at the food pantry where they give out organic fruits and vegetables among other things.

I am now certified to lead Divine sleep Yoga Nidra. Yay! What an intense week.
New line
I did manage to speak up during the class to the teacher about the wigging out comment. She kind of played it off and didn't really take responsibility or dignify my objection. More about that later.
I feel so fortunate I can come here to be with you all.

[wolfspirit]

Congrats on the completion of your goal.
Hoping you are doing okay

ws

[there]

Wonderful Spirit,
2nd day post-training. Have had some struggling moments, what am I going to do with my life, why are people so mean and rude, living in this building and what it represents to me, getting over a dang cold.
I have some ideas on how to use my yoga nidra training. Emailed the instructor, asking if I need to be insured.
She replied that she doesn't know, I'd have to ask at a meditation or yoga studio because most people taking it are already yoga teachers. Well, if it's sold to non-yoga teachers, which it is, why isn't that need considered?
Almost certain that her comment on people with PTSD in yoga classes freaking out at the famous named Yoga Center not provided by there, quotation mark quotation mark wigging out and quotation mark generously fed SU session I had this week. By Tuesday, when she called said PTSD sufferers "cuckoo", I I raised my hand. I told her that language was not fair. I said more but she really didn't take responsibility. Yeah all about compassion. And I got a dirty look and a thumbs down from another student across the room.

I spoke up and I can live with myself for that. Also reported a bus driver for telling me quote I'm hot for you when I get on the bus. And a little more lovely treatment before I cut off. Transit personnel Fielding the call was so nice. Almost certain that bus driver will be spoken to. Person on phone gave me his own employee number.

Feel very close to tears about my situation.

Edited 1x by there, grammar.

[wolfspirit]

there,
Indeed, I would have had su thoughts following such an insensitive, clueless remark by a person who was "in charge" of a training that I was looking forward to. We all want to feel loved, understood, and connected. It is ironic, really, that she wasn't really yogic with her attitude or language.
The person with the thumbs down/dirty look needs a reality check. Good thing he/she wasn't sitting next to me in that class...

One thing I hate about this healing process is the snowball thought and feeling effect. One feeling feeds into another and then thoughts come in and fuel more thoughts and pretty soon, there's no space left for stability.

I'm here listening if you want to share more.

<3

ws

[there]

spirit,
Thanks so much for your receptiveness and solidarity.
Apologies for the dictation errors in my last post. Using a stylus atm.

I wasn't going to tell her and the entire class that I have a trauma history. Personally, I'm switching to the use of PTSI as a diagnosis. "Injury" is a much more helpful term than "Disorder ". That word is so negative. It's not helpful to anyone except people who want to judge in the name of medicine.

I told her that I've done volunteer work with people feeling SU. That a friend who's an expressive T agrees that language is important and can hurt or heal. True enough that I've helped 3 people out of su crises. She just played it off like I was talking about nothing. That's not mental health in her.
And I learned in yoga to be non-judgmental!

Went to a really nice concert given in a nearby church. It was 1 HR and 15 mins and very moving.
Funny, but it's easier for me to cry sitting in a church. Music was moving, and I teared up a bit.

The minister stood at the exit, speaking to each person leaving. "Thank you for being here this evening. " Wow. Have read his bio online. His wife is a pastor at a different denominational church.
That's positive to me. I won't willingly go to a service in a faith that excludes women from the clergy. The evening concert has brought me more peace.

Could actually write a short story here about my life lately, but this is enough for now.

Thanks for reading.

[wolfspirit]

Music is one of the keys to my survival, so I completely understand what you're saying.
The explanation of injury instead of disorder is a new idea to me; It helps me see the symptoms differently. Thanks for sharing that.

I'm with you on the women spiritual leaders- I relate more to them on the whole.

Hope your week coming up has some fun in it!

ws

[there]

spirit,
searching online, I found a few websites that address the PTSD Vs PTSI diagnosis. They state reasons about stigma. My biggest reason for hating the word "disorder" is its effect on my own mind and unconscious. A jerk therapist told me I was " chaotic " once. I demanded an apology, which she gave. Twit.

The word doesn't do my mind justice. I'm intelligent and strong, not "disordered ". Believing I have a " disorder" really is a disadvantage. So my life can be disordered, my living space, and of course, my mind.

Maybe other people aren't as sensitive or suggestible as I am. I hate it, though. Having an injury seems more controllable, limitable.
............... ............... ........ ...... . . .......... ...... !.................................. .... ..,........ ............... , and yes, less stigmatising.Something happened to me that injured me.\

I Even prefer the term "post Traumatic Stress Syndrome " to PTSD.

from now on, I have PTSI!