Thanksgiving Memory

A discussion area specifically for survivors who suffered physical, emotional, and verbal child abuse. This forum can also be used for Members who suffered sexual abuse at the time of physical, emotional and verbal abuse.

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juliewr
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Posts: 100
Joined: Sat Aug 26, 2017 10:24 pm

Thanksgiving Memory

Post by juliewr »

Yesterday was tough for me. This year, like the last 4, we went to my husband's family because I don't let my kids around my parents anymore. Everything was fine and his family is amazing. They are loving, caring and nobody has ever hit anybody. They have the utmost respect for physical boundaries and all of that. They weren't the problem. The problem for me was that I had a flashback. This will sound stupid, but it was because of a wooden spoon!

My mom used to spank us on the bare butt with wooden spoons until we were about 8 and she began using the paddle and dad the belt. She still used the spoon all the way through my teens at times, but it wasn't her normal thing to spank with. Anyway, a my in-laws yesterday I was helping set up the food table when his aunt handed me a wooden spoon thats said "Mom's Home Cooking" on the handle. It was a old spoon that used to be sold at Walgreen's or something like that back in the eighties. When she handed me the spoon I had a panic attack. My mom used to have the same spoon and snapped it in half across my bare butt on Thanksgiving in 1989, when I was 7 years old, in front of my sisters and friends of my parents who were over for the holiday. I woke up having wet the bed and came down to the kitchen where my mom was already cooking. She saw my wet PJ's and right there, with everybody around the table or helping her cook, she too my pants and underwear off, grabbed that exact spoon, bent me over with my hands on my knees and spanked me so long and hard with the spoon while everybody watched that it broke in half across my butt.

When I saw the same spot yesterday I was frozen. I had to excuse myself and go upstairs to the bathroom. It took me 15 minutes to be able to breathe again and come back down stairs. This is silly for a 35 yearly women, but I made an effort not to even look towards that spoon the rest of the day.
Last edited by Ashia on Fri Nov 24, 2017 7:54 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Reason: Changed ST to MT
there
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Posts: 9795
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

Re: Thanksgiving Memory

Post by there »

juliewr,
Understandable that you'd react to the same type of spoon.
Sending my support to you----->>>
All women are beautiful. Period.
I deserve better than survival.
quixote
Moderator
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Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2012 2:14 am

Re: Thanksgiving Memory

Post by quixote »

juliewr,
You were able to take care of yourself on Thanksgiving. Give yourself a lot of credit.
quixote
recover
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Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2011 12:50 pm

Re: Thanksgiving Memory

Post by recover »

hi juliewr,
i am so sorry for what you suffered as a child and for the terrible flashback experience.
to me it makes perfect sense that this would happen after being so traumatized like that as a kid.
i agree with quixote that you took good care of your self and deserve to feel good about that. avoiding traumatic triggers is healthy in my opinion.
with support,
recover
there
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Posts: 9795
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

Re: Thanksgiving Memory

Post by there »

juliwr,
You did take really good care about it and I give you a lot of credit.
Thanks for being an inspiration!
All women are beautiful. Period.
I deserve better than survival.
Ashia
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 894
Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2017 6:42 pm

Re: Thanksgiving Memory

Post by Ashia »

Hi juliewr

There's some great words here from recover, quixote and there. I agree with them that you did well to look after yourself on Thanksgiving. I hope soon you will be able to see how well you did.

With caring
Ashia
Two Worlds
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Posts: 73
Joined: Thu Aug 31, 2017 5:04 am

Re: Thanksgiving Memory

Post by Two Worlds »

I dont think it sounds stupid at all...thats an awful thing to do to a child, especially when you had done nothing wrong at all! I'm sorry you have such a terrible Thanksgiving memory, and that it is still affecting you and causing a panic attack. I wish you all the best!
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