There's Healing Journey 2018

A discussion area specifically for survivors who suffered physical, emotional, and verbal child abuse. This forum can also be used for Members who suffered sexual abuse at the time of physical, emotional and verbal abuse.

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Fleur
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Posts: 12228
Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2011 9:23 am

Re: There's Healing Journey 2018

Post by Fleur » Wed Jul 11, 2018 7:43 pm

Hello there


I'm glad you brought the subject into the open about feelings when a post apparently is overlooked not answered

I confess I used to be diligent about responding to all posts individually but more recently have been lazy and simply addressed everyone by name and little else (and probably forgotten some folk in the process)

I really admire you and wolfspirit for finding ways to release hurtful stuff

Chair yoga would suit people who are like me with limited mobility. Or those who are uncomfortable being on the floor. Who knows perhaps your class might help some people to follow on to enjoy regular yoga or other activities?

Personalising your business using original art is a fantastic idea

Can relate to scariness Of changing off welfare regular payments etc to having own independent employment

May all go well for you in every respect


Caring hugs
Onward to a safe community for all people in which to thrive ~ gentle hugs [if okay] ~ Fleur

wolfspirit
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Joined: Tue Dec 26, 2017 8:56 pm

Re: There's Healing Journey 2018

Post by wolfspirit » Thu Jul 12, 2018 2:35 am

there,
I have a similar hurt, and I think it hurts from a place I don't really understand.
I'm sorry this is happening in our forum.
Are you feeling as if it is intentional?
Or is it a hurt you'd like to be able to process?

For me, I am hurt because I feel left out. Not as important as everyone else. Not as "good-looking" or stereotypically pretty.
I have been going to a group fight class for a year and a half straight, twice a week. I feel as if I am somewhat of an expert on the class.
The last few months, the gym public relations people have come in to photograph us in session. They even took pictures of us at a special class we did outside at an important landmark in our city. It was just before one of those 5k runs. I was doing a good job keeping up with the instructor both times pictures were taken. Good form and effort.
Well, I was never photographed either time. Like they would stand right next to me and shoot the people around me. They would aim the camera away from me and get a picture of the rest of the class. I was in the front row, too. Both times. :oops:

I can't help but think that I'm just not a good enough person to shoot. I'm not pretty enough or strong enough. There's nothing about me they would be "proud of." So I'm hurt about that. I'm a regular attendee. Why can't you just put one little pic of me on your website or instagram or tweet or whatever. No, just purposefully avoid me. Thanks. But why do I feel that in the first place? Not sure.

Don't mean to make this about me. I just want you to know that I understand the feeling of being overlooked and unimportant.
I hope that I am not doing that to you.

When you feel like writing about the interaction with S in your interview, and how she tried to literally tell you what to do ( :roll: ), I'm very interested. I liked your joke about the states of matter, btw. :)

sending hugs,

ws
Wounds are where the light enters you.
Rumi

there
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Posts: 4947
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

Re: There's Healing Journey 2018

Post by there » Thu Jul 12, 2018 3:50 am

Fleur, It's so good to see your post!
Thanks for your words.
I would really like to help people with limited mobility. That's one of the reasons for chair yoga.
The change to more economic self-support is going to be gradual. I'm working and earning more than I was 2 years ago. Of course, we work our tails off to survive and heal, and that's not good enough for this society to respect as employment. I feel differently.

I sometimes miss responding to a post, but am pretty sure I catch up when I see it. Or I just say 'thanks to anyone or everyone', if I don't have the energy to mention each person.

Ws, thanks. I don't think people here have done it on purpose. I really that survivors may have limitations and all humans do. When I told Jonesy, she said she felt the same way here at times. If not ok to share that, please correct, Jones or mod.

For me, it probably comes from emotional neglect in childhood, and the neglect I feel from society in general. Feeling like I didn't, don't even exist to some people. And I'm human. I have feelings. I exist, I care, I share, so what did I do that makes me not count?

Even my dog seems to feel like this when I'm on the computer a while. She gives a little cry and I know she needs attention. She was abandoned as a puppy.

I live alone, and the only person who visits me is my brother every few months, or somebody who cleans.

ws, that's really pathetic what the gym PR people did. That's ridiculous, and to me, mental illness. It doesn't require a diagnosis.
I know you are strong, skilled and beautiful. And I'm proud to know you.

I'm individuating more, like I didn't get to complete in growing up. So I'm living those more now, I hope, by career choice and efforts,
and by giving myself credit for my unique skills and talents.

Time, to me, is somewhat of a social convention, and growing up can happen at any point in life. And it happens differently for each person. And that's ok.
"Love yourself, for no one can be closer or spend more time with you...Remain aware, for you are now new." Sr. Corita Kent, artist

Noname
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Posts: 1695
Joined: Sat Jun 15, 2013 4:58 pm

Re: There's Healing Journey 2018

Post by Noname » Fri Jul 13, 2018 12:12 am

Hi there,

I hear you about how emotional neglect, feeling invisible can affect a person. I don't believe that anyone here would intentionally disregard anyone else. We are all human, and everyone makes mistakes. That doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt just a bit. It's good to acknowledge how you're feeling, and it's also good that you can acknowledge that everyone's human and has limitations. I guess what I want to say here is that I hear you, I get it, and I hope that my words are making sense.

there
Member
Posts: 4947
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

Re: There's Healing Journey 2018

Post by there » Fri Jul 13, 2018 1:58 am

Thanks, Noname, for reading and understanding.

Tired tonight, recovering from medical appointment, the interpersonal aspect.

Complained to a mgr in dept store about salesperson (whom I say hi to when in store) and mgr. backed me up.

I don't feel great about talking with anyone at all lately except my brother.
"Love yourself, for no one can be closer or spend more time with you...Remain aware, for you are now new." Sr. Corita Kent, artist

wolfspirit
Member
Posts: 1034
Joined: Tue Dec 26, 2017 8:56 pm

Re: There's Healing Journey 2018

Post by wolfspirit » Sat Jul 14, 2018 4:23 am

there,
Sending restful thoughts and comfortable energy your way.
Appointments of any kind wipe me out.

Thanks for the affirmation on the gym PR issue. It hurts but I'm moving past it.
I'm actually off my game with my exercise plan. I've been out of town and otherwise off my routine.
Have to get back into it or my mental health will start to suffer.

Hoping your brother can be there for you when you need someone to talk to.
You deserve to feel supported and heard.

<3

ws
Wounds are where the light enters you.
Rumi

there
Member
Posts: 4947
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

Re: There's Healing Journey 2018

Post by there » Sun Jul 15, 2018 4:26 pm

ws,
ty for words of comfort and empathy.
Exercise, sometimes even a little is good enough for the time, I find. I at least touch on it.
I've pulled back on strenuous exercise, hoping it can help with hypothyroid issues. Thyroid may step up to the plate when adrenals are burnt out. Then it gets overtaxed, too.

Yoga studio owner was responsive when I asked for ideas or guidance. She made a snap judgment about my age and ability, I felt. She assumed I would not want to teach more active yoga on that basis. It's not realistic. She told me she's a grandmother, like I'm supposed to automatically relate to that based on her assumption about my life.

In the strength training class offered in this building by the Y, I tested off their charts, according to the leaders. I'm quick and strong.
It's not a contest to me, but, just because I don't dye my hair and have some lines on my skin doesn't mean you know me or my capabilities.

I'm, over it, mostly, seeing her control freakout for what it is. Really a joke because yoga is about nonjudgment of yourself or others.
Btw, a rush of unfounded judgment or need to put someone in their place, is what I call a "control freakout". Even well-intentioned , it's not welcome by me.
I hope that I count as a person.

One thing I've found healing for me is finding in myself what's beyond condition, or not about it. I do what I can to love myself without conditions. I know where blaming and judging myself lead. And what a lot of energy is eaten up to constantly criticize and assess myself.

I guess it's true what a yoga teacher told us in his class--"Loving yourself is an inside job."

I'm becoming less dependent on others' approval. What's inside of me that I can know, learn by, love?


edited 1x by there for syntax
"Love yourself, for no one can be closer or spend more time with you...Remain aware, for you are now new." Sr. Corita Kent, artist

Harmony
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Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2011 8:10 pm

Re: There's Healing Journey 2018

Post by Harmony » Sun Jul 15, 2018 11:37 pm

Dear there,

She sounds like the kind that teaches what she most needs to learn. My T always claimed it true in the T profession as well. She could do with a little humility. Her assumptions about your strength or that you would be a grandmother due to your age is not cool in my opinion. I guess one could say she is trying to relate. Sad attempt though. Just keep on going and don't let them get you down.

with care,
Harmony

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