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Joined: Fri Sep 23, 2011 5:22 pm


Post by jimscarlet » Tue Oct 16, 2018 9:27 pm

Hi Peeps,
Boy am I glad I keep a journal,as was feeling down and picked up old one;as was leafing
through pages,came upon following quote:" One of the ways children respond to abuse,is to
become an offender to YOURSELF; treating yourself the same way your parents or others treated YOU.
This is called "TRANSFERENCE",which children do a lot of--so be on lookout for other transferences,
they WILL be there. Look at things you don't like about dear self,ways you put self down,or other
behaviour you don't like . . .including negative thinking . . .anything that is negative for you.
And if you don't already do it,start a journal!
Deepest Respect,
Last edited by Jonesy on Wed Oct 17, 2018 9:38 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Changed MT to NT, as no triggering content included

Posts: 187
Joined: Fri Aug 31, 2018 6:52 am

Re: Transference

Post by Harbor » Wed Oct 17, 2018 1:15 am

Thank you, jimscarlet

One of the reasons I have veered into helping others is that this is exactly what my father would not have done. I have recalled how he made me feel and have carefully parented to avoid making my children feel the same way. I sometimes feel the anger he felt, but then I use the disappointment I felt to quench it. We don't have to repeat the mistakes that the people who were supposed to be caring for us made - we can learn from them and let that knowledge propel us to a higher standard.

Even still, I catch myself sounding like him. All I can do is stop, apologize, make it right, and strive to do better.
"'Safe Harbor' is a state of mind... it's the place - in reality or metaphor - to which one goes in times of trouble or worry. It can be a friendship, marriage, church, garden, beach, poem, prayer, or song." -Luanne Rice

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