Osiyo! Hello!

[FallenStar]

I’m FallenStar, a 37 year old mixed indigenous woman. I am physically disabled, chronically ill and mentally ill. I have my bachelors degrees in Creative Writing and Anthropology. I’m unable to work due to my disabilities, so I try to work on writing my science fiction novel.

I am happily married to a loving man who helped me to escape the long years of severe and repeated mental, physical and sexual abuse at the hands of my parents, step father and step brother. I was abused continually from the age of two or three up until I was 24 years old. The emotional abuse unfortunately continued until I was 30 and cut off all ties with my only surviving parent, my mother.

I see a psychiatrist and have a therapist. My therapist is using a therapy called EMDR to help me process the trauma in my past. Recently, I had a PTSD nightmare that I was being sexually abused by my mother and I woke up very disturbed but ultimately my body reacted in a way that I was not prepared for.

I began having terrible feelings of guilt and self doubt along with disgust at myself. My depression worsened and I became suicidal. I reached out to help with the suicidal feelings to my husband who was wonderful. I’m no longer actively suicidal but I still sometimes have passive suicidal thoughts. Mostly, I feel alone. Which is why I sought out this site.

Thank you for allowing me to join.

[Harmony]

Welcome FallenStar,

So glad you found our little safe haven. Lots of good people here support one another while healing. You are most welcome.

with care,
Harmony

[Jonesy]

Hi FallenStar

A very warm welcome to isurvive

[Serenity]

Welcome to isurvive, FallenStar. I'm sorry for the reasons, but glad you are here.

With care,
Serenity

[Jonesy]

Hi again FallenStar

How's that novel coming along? Looking forward to reading more from you when you have time

[FallenStar]

It’s so nice of you to ask. The novel is coming along slowly and it’s difficult to keep working on it with my depression and ptsd symptoms but I’m not giving up!